» My nutty little self. Don’t Eat Off The Sidewalk!

My nutty little self.

I told Brian this earlier today, and he thought I was nuts.  I told him that I don’t really like being in our back yard, because our neighbors are so close and either the mom is outside smoking or the kids are outside so it feels like i have no privacy in my own back yard, and that freaks me out.  Which it does.  I had him go out and hook up the sprinkler, even though it’s so cold I doubt anyone is outside for fun, for this very reason.

I know that probably doesn’t make a lot of sense, but when i’m in my house, or in my yard, that’s my space.  I don’t want other people in it.  I get annoyed when people knock on the door to sell me shit for the exact same reason.  I can deal with background noise, but I don’t want people looking at me or kids talking to me when i’m trying to do my thing.  If I wanted to deal with other people, i’d go out in public.  Obviously I realize that it’s unrealistic of me to expect to have a completely private yard, I just wish that the part of the yard that has enough light and flat ground for my garden wasn’t right next to their fence.

The day my camera arrived, Brian and I went to a mandatory FRG meeting.  Mandatory means that either the soldier or their spouse has to be there.  I went because Brian didn’t want to go alone, and I haven’t been to one since before he got deployed.  The F(amily)R(eadiness)G(roup) is basically a bunch of wives who pass information along to everyone else, mostly while soldiers are deployed.  And stuff.  I really have no interest in it, i’m quite through with military women so i’d never call any of these ladies in a million years.  But I guess they help some people.  I say ‘guess’ because an FRG is only as good as the people who are running it.

Anyway, the email said they would have pizza, and obviously that thrilled me none, but it made Brian excited.  And you have to think that free pizza would encourage people to show up.  This was the first meeting with a new leader so I guess she was out to impress people.  We show up, and there’s five women there, and the leader swoops in.  Don’t get me wrong,  she was very nice, but i’m shy and awkward around people I know, and she was a yammerer.  Brian got his pizza and we sat near the back and flipped through the materials  while waiting for the meeting to start.  We were early so we expected to wait a bit.  Well, at six, only ten more people have shown up.  So the FRG leader says she’s going to wait a bit and give people time to show up.  Which turned out not to be necessary, because no one else did.  I felt really bad for her, because she had bought twenty fucking pizzas and there were less than twenty people!  Did I mention there was free daycare?  And like I said, mandatory?  The meeting pretty much bored me to death, then the leader asked if we had kids and for some reason everyone laughed when we said no.  Thanks, guys.  I could be infertile for all you know.  Assholes.  At the end, Brian took home two entire pizzas and ate nothing else for two whole days.  Ick.

I really hate those meetings.  One, because they’re boring.  Two, because they’re too long.  And three, because I always get freaked out because i’m overwhelmed.  Nothing scares me more than being in a room with a big group of women.  Loud, ‘normal’, chatty cathy women.  I feel small, and child-like.  I want to go sit in the corner and suck my thumb while rocking back and forth or something.  All the talk is ‘babies blahblah’ and ‘my husband blahblah’.  Oh, we’re going to have lots of get-togethers while the guys are gone.  We’ll go out to dinners and take turns going to each others houses!  Wow, that sounds like a barrel of fucking fun!   Maybe we can have a Desperate Wives marathon and drink wine coolers, and then go to church together hungover!  I swear, I never feel like a bigger weirdo than during FRG meetings.

posted: 07 April 8
under: family