» It’s like getting punk’d, but not as funny. Don’t Eat Off The Sidewalk!

It’s like getting punk’d, but not as funny.

Yesterday I woke up, scratched my nose, and realized that my right nostril screw was hanging out. Dangerously far. Piercings can close up really fast no matter how long you’ve had them, let alone two short weeks. So I scrambled to the bathroom and sure enough, it comes out with a touch. I tried and tried to gt it back in, but I couldn’t. Jewelry lesson: While most piercings are done at 14g or 16g, nose screws are 18g (unless you specifically buy a larger one). If gauge means nothing to you, those crappy earrings you get from Claires are 20-22g. Second lesson: A taper is used to gently stretch piercings up to the next gauge. It looks like a needle, except the end is rounded. Sometimes if you lose your jewelry or just accidentally leave it out for too long, you can use a taper to open it back up instead of forcefully shoving a blunt piece of jewelry in there.

If I had an 18g taper, I just would’ve had to put it through the hole, and followed it through with jewelry. But I don’t have an 18g taper, mine start at 14g. So all I could do was put the tip in and confirm that my hole hadn’t closed. So i’m struggling to get the nose screw back in, which is really hard because of a) they way it is curved, and b) that it kind of hurts so it’s hard for me to really force it through. In the middle of this, the doorbell rings. So I answer the door with one nose screw hanging out, in my hello kitty pajamas, with my hair now three colors because I used a color remover on it. I see a smiling woman and some people behind her. As she started to talk, I was bending down to tell Chester to shut his yap, and so I don’t know what she said. But when I stood up, I saw the copy of the Watchtower in her hands. I immediately said, “No.” “You’re not interested in blahblahblahblahBLAH?” No, I am not. They left peacefully. I probably didn’t look ripe for a conversion.

So that was my first time getting Jehovah’d.

Then when I went back to the bathroom, the screw was gone. Dropped. I couldn’t find it anywhere on the carpet or around the door. So I took an old nose screw, bent it straight with some pliers, and stuck that in until 2:00 when I go back to the piercing studio to have the piercer give me a new screw and insert it for me. It really fucking hurt and my eye watered, but it’s okay now.

As I said, I put a color remover on my head as a pre-step to bleaching it. It’s not as damaging to my hair, doesn’t bleach my roots, but lord does it stink. My bathroom still smells like chemical farts! A good deal came out, i’m going to put a little bit in my shampoo when I take a shower tonight just to take it down a little more before I bleach it. With any luck, I should only have to bleach my hair once. The pictures appear more red than they do in person, in acutality my bands are pinkish, the bottom is kind of dark, and the rest is a color that I like to call ‘Lung Butter’.

We built our burn pit and burned some leaves today. It was pretty fun. I bought a wheelbarrowto transport the bricks down to the corner, without thinking about how I was going to get it home. A nice man stopped to help me, we put it barely in the trunk, secured it with my one bungee cord, and off I went. Annoying the shit out of everyone behind me because I wouldn’t go above 40 and I stopped and sped back up really slow at the lights.

I think I need a hammock chair between these two trees.

posted: 07 April 22
under: family, life, pictures

  • mommy

    Glad to see you’re getting rid of those leaves under the deck.
    Frank used to to do that very thing – going door to door. No wonder he’s has no use for the church anymore.

  • andria

    A hammock is definitely needed between those trees. Nice burning pit! I smell a cookout party….