» In the life of. Don’t Eat Off The Sidewalk!

In the life of.

Hi ho! This is what I have been up to.

  • I’m ending day three of the Master Cleanse. I was fine for the first two days, and now i’m onto dreaming of solid food. Weird shit too, yesterday I got a craving for plain saltine crackers. Tomorrow i’m going to clean out all of the science experiments that are growing in the fridge and squash that. I’ve also being peeing a lot. That’s always fun. Pictures of my last meal below.
  • I took the dogs to Metropolis last week so I could participate in the contest that Threadless was having last week. I had to take a picture of myself wearing a Threadless shirt in the city. Of course, it was raining when I got there so I ended up taking photos in a gas station in front of a bunch of Superman shirts. It stopped raining so I did get to go to where the big Superman statue is and take some pictures, but only one of myself that turned out so horribly it’s never seeing the light of day. The one that I submitted isn’t all that great because I look like a tub-o-lantern, but I got some guy to take it and so it has the whole shirt in it and whatnot. So that’s the one I sent in. If I win, I get an ipod and a digital camera and some other shit.
  • I went to see Knocked Up yesterday, by myself. I went in the afternoon so I wouldn’t be sandwiched in with tools, and it was still pretty full. I got to sit at the end of the row, at least. But the seats in front of me were first occupied by a family of four, with a baby. For fucks sake. It’s an R rated movie! They left 20 minutes in. They were quickly replaced by a jackass with a bluetooth that kept flashing in my eye, and he kept answering it just to tell people he was in a movie. Anyway, that movie was filthy and funny and I loved it. I could tell I was in Tennessee when one of the characters made a joke about Felicity Huffman being hot in Transamerica, and I was the only one who laughed. I can’t wait for the unrated dvd.
  • Some jerk in a meat van woke me up the other day to ask me if I wanted to buy some steaks. I was so not awake that I think I was completely polite to him. I should really not answer my doorbell, in the time that we’ve lived here it has only been rang to sell me pizza, alarm systems, Jesus, and now steaks. None of which I want. Well, except the alarm system. I kept the flyer so I can get one installed in the fall after Brian leaves.
  • Brian isn’t supposed to have his cellphone in Louisiana, so he’s only called me a couple of times.
  • The zine will be done sometime in the next week. Felicia drew some cover art for me, and i’m working on typing everything up and making it pretty in Photoshop. Yes, the whole thing is being done digitally. I can’t draw and my handwriting is shit, plus this is just faster and easier for me. I just have to find a place to run copies off at.

The animals get their own bullet list this week.

  • Bonny and Chester are going to the vet Tuesday. Bonny needs her 12 week shots, and I have to take in a stool sample for some reason. Chester needs his distemper shot next month so I decided to just lump him in too. I have to be there at 8:45 in the morning. Oh, fun.
  • Chester has finally decided it’s okay to play with Bonny. Sometimes. Mostly she follows him around nipping at his heels and annoying him.
  • Animals are so entertaining, the more you have the more hilarity there is. Just because they all try to avoid eachother and freak out when they bump into one another. I’m thinking we should throw a monkey into the mix, just to see what happens. Maybe a ferret. Nah, Chester would eat a ferret.
  • Bonny barks at the cats while they eat.
  • Bonny barks a lot more in general. She’s barking at me right now because i’m not playing with her.
  • She’s discovered the neighboring dog, and holes in their fences to get through. I’m going to have to buy a bunch of bricks and search the entire perimeter of the fence for Bonny sized holes.
  • The cats have all passed another year. Fatty is 12, Genghis and Gozer are 5.

The very last thing I ate before embarking on this round of cleansing. Tempeh wingz, potato salad, and more frozen banana pops.

posted: 07 June 4
under: animals, deots, food, life, lists, pictures

  • i can’t imagine being woken up by some meat seller. what the hell?! you should just post some huge flashy thing in your door that says “VEGAN!”

  • You take beautiful pictures. Truly.