So here’s the deal. My husband is leaving next month for Iraq. He will be gone for 15 months. I am also trying to write a new zine, and that’s already suffering because of my inability to focus. Someone has decided that they want to hurt and punish me for things that assume that I think and believe. I won’t go into what, because i’m not trying to call anyone out or attempt to make them feel stupid. It doesn’t matter anyway, because they know what i’m talking about. I don’t like fighting. I never have, i’m just not the debating type. I don’t want to argue about if there’s a god or not, whether abortion is murder, or the validity of a vegan diet. I don’t have the time or the energy for it. I don’t want to debate what you believe, you can believe whatever you want. That was never the issue.
Like I said, i’m having a lot of trouble focusing. I’m not suffering from depression, but every now and then a random thought will pop into my head to remind me that i’m going to be alone for 15 months, and I can’t get anything done because i’m too busy being the guest of honor at a pity party. I’m trying to regulate my sleep with medicine so I can be awake during the day, and that’s going rocky. I make to-do lists to try and make sure something gets done around here.
There’s a famous quote that says something like, write letters to your enemy but never send them. If it makes you feel better to write those things to me, feel free. You have a right to be mad at me, but not for the reasons you think. Right now i’m trying to keep my life together, and this is the exact opposite of helping. You are hurting me, and if you value me as much as you say you do, you will stop.
Anyway, I turned comments off for anyone who isn’t a registered user because I just cannot handle this right now. And I think only five people actually registered so, this will be output only for awhile.
posted: 07 August 27