VeganMoFo: I’m doing it wrong.
I really hate it when something I try to make goes ker-flop. I especially hate the fact that it always seems to happen to sweet things. Like for example: I have been promising Amy a carepackage for over a month. She told me that she was having trouble with wheat so I decided to make her wheat-free cookies. I got a bunch of almond flour at Krogers for half off (they put things on sale when they’re about to hit their ‘sell by’ date), so I went with spelt and almond. The first time, they came out okay. I even took the results to a friend to try and he said that he thought they were really good. They did need a little more flour though, because they were really thin and didn’t get crispy so when you picked one up, it bent in half.
Since then i’ve tried twice more. I tried beating the sugar and the oil together. Don’t ask me what I thought that would do, I was experimenting! Anyway, that batch came out so bad that I didn’t even bake all of the dough. I did eat the mistakes, though. They were just blah.
Then I tried again the other day. The first batch, I flattened them and they came out…flat and kind of dry. So I added maple syrup to the remaining dough and just made little balls with a spoon and they came out puffy. They were okay, but not worthy of sending to anyone. I won’t send someone ‘okay’ cookies. So i’ve been eating those mistakes too. And I cannot eat anymore fucked up cookies. All cookied out over here. I’ll try again when Brian gets home and I can make him eat my mistakes.
And then…
I found out that Food Lion brand butterscotch chips are vegan. Food Lion is a southern grocery store chain that, at least in this town, is gross. I never shop there. It’s dingy and depressing and they have nothing to offer vegans. I really wasn’t surprised when I went and found that the bags had all expired in April. I dug in the back and found three bags that expire on the 27th. Lucky me. So I got them home and set about deciding what to make. Most people would make oatmeal scotchies but this was in the center of the cookie issue so…no. I decided to try pudding.
I melted the chips out of habit, then I realized that since there was no chocolate involved that I probably didn’t need to do that. I got out my cornstarch and then found out…the canister was empty. So I had to think, did I want to go to the store and buy more, or did I have something I could substitute? I had….en-er-g! It has thickeners in it right? I decided to give it a try, figuring at worst I would have butterscotch soup.
It did thicken so I thought I was okay. I tried to eat it warm and I got a stomach ache within five minutes, so I decided to save it for later. I tried it after it cooled off and…the egg replacer had made it grainy and inedible. Ugh. I might try butterscotch mousse when I feel up to stomaching sugar again.
Wow. I hate days like that when nothing goes right. I haven’t seen a Food Lion in years! I think all of them left from here after that huge scandal several years ago.
Ugh, if it makes you feel any better I’ve had a day like that too, except mine was with veggie burgers. I finally gave up and made white bean cutlets adapted from V’Con because I know at least they will work!
I managed to make some pretty good white chocolate macadamia nut cookies once using almond meal and gluten free flour, they fluffed up allright (in a good way, they weren’t chewy though, they were soft). Good luck with the future experimentation!
I always giggle whenever anyone mentions Food Lion. Probably because I am a nutcase. I have to check and record their weekly specials every week at work, because they sell our competitors products. They always have the strangest food on sale. I can’t ever figure out WHO shops there.
For what it’s worth, I’ve seen Amy eat Chinese food out of a dumpster before. I really wouldn’t sweat this.
Grrr… I hate that! Thankfully flops are not a very common occurence. I don’t even mind semi-flops, as long as it it still edible. But total flops are such a wasted of time, food, and money!
Omg! Food Lion butterscotch chips are vegan? SCORE! I live in SC and my Food Lion is actually brand new and really nice. It even has a whole section of “natural foods” with lots of vegan and organic products. Before this new one opened, it was a dingy store, though. I go there often. I have to check out these chips!
I think we all have bad days in the kitchen or we each have a recipe that gives us fits for no apparent reason.
I give you major props for perseverance, though. I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon enough and the cookies will be tremendous!
i hate it when things just keep going wrong. i’d be sick of cookies by now, too!
Everyone has bad days in the kitchen, it just means that A GREAT DAY is ahead! 🙂
I feel that. God forbid mistakes in the kitchen be spread out over a few trials… it’s like all the catastrophes are saved up for that one day you really want to get something done!
That’s amazing I usually give up after 1 try! Although admittedly many of my disasters happen because I hate to measure. -_- On the upside your pudding at least looks delicious!
That’s pretty much the story of my life in trying to come up with baked goods from scratch. But I definitely admire your determination and understand not wanting to gift “just okay” cookies. I hope things start looking up!
sigh…
You can freeze them and I’ll help you eat them…. I can never get enough cookies!!
ten bucks says i send you cookies before you send me cookies.
I can sympathize with the disasters. My kitchen is filled with them. However, you were a little ray of sunshine in my life when you mentioned that Food Lion has vegan butterscotch chips. I hate hate hate that store and unfortunately, it’s the only one in my town so I go there for emergencies. Actually, there is an H.G. Hill but that’s even worse than Food Lion and I refuse to step foot in there. I bought some yesterday and am going to make cookies tomorrow. I am looking forward to this like you can’t believe!
Couldn’t believe! Can’t? Wow, talk about bad grammer.
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