VeganMoFo: I’m doing it wrong.
I really hate it when something I try to make goes ker-flop. I especially hate the fact that it always seems to happen to sweet things. Like for example: I have been promising Amy a carepackage for over a month. She told me that she was having trouble with wheat so I decided to make her wheat-free cookies. I got a bunch of almond flour at Krogers for half off (they put things on sale when they’re about to hit their ‘sell by’ date), so I went with spelt and almond. The first time, they came out okay. I even took the results to a friend to try and he said that he thought they were really good. They did need a little more flour though, because they were really thin and didn’t get crispy so when you picked one up, it bent in half.
Since then i’ve tried twice more. I tried beating the sugar and the oil together. Don’t ask me what I thought that would do, I was experimenting! Anyway, that batch came out so bad that I didn’t even bake all of the dough. I did eat the mistakes, though. They were just blah.
Then I tried again the other day. The first batch, I flattened them and they came out…flat and kind of dry. So I added maple syrup to the remaining dough and just made little balls with a spoon and they came out puffy. They were okay, but not worthy of sending to anyone. I won’t send someone ‘okay’ cookies. So i’ve been eating those mistakes too. And I cannot eat anymore fucked up cookies. All cookied out over here. I’ll try again when Brian gets home and I can make him eat my mistakes.
And then…
I found out that Food Lion brand butterscotch chips are vegan. Food Lion is a southern grocery store chain that, at least in this town, is gross. I never shop there. It’s dingy and depressing and they have nothing to offer vegans. I really wasn’t surprised when I went and found that the bags had all expired in April. I dug in the back and found three bags that expire on the 27th. Lucky me. So I got them home and set about deciding what to make. Most people would make oatmeal scotchies but this was in the center of the cookie issue so…no. I decided to try pudding.
I melted the chips out of habit, then I realized that since there was no chocolate involved that I probably didn’t need to do that. I got out my cornstarch and then found out…the canister was empty. So I had to think, did I want to go to the store and buy more, or did I have something I could substitute? I had….en-er-g! It has thickeners in it right? I decided to give it a try, figuring at worst I would have butterscotch soup.
It did thicken so I thought I was okay. I tried to eat it warm and I got a stomach ache within five minutes, so I decided to save it for later. I tried it after it cooled off and…the egg replacer had made it grainy and inedible. Ugh. I might try butterscotch mousse when I feel up to stomaching sugar again.
