» VeganMoFo: I’m doing it wrong. Don’t Eat Off The Sidewalk!

VeganMoFo: I’m doing it wrong.

I really hate it when something I try to make goes ker-flop.  I especially hate the fact that it always seems to happen to sweet things.  Like for example:  I have been promising Amy a carepackage for over a month.  She told me that she was having trouble with wheat so I decided to make her wheat-free cookies.  I got a bunch of almond flour at Krogers for half off (they put things on sale when they’re about to hit their ‘sell by’ date), so I went with spelt and almond.  The first time, they came out okay.  I even took the results to a friend to try and he said that he thought they were really good.  They did need a little more flour though, because they were really thin and didn’t get crispy so when you picked one up, it bent in half.

Since then i’ve tried twice more.  I tried beating the sugar and the oil together.  Don’t ask me what I thought that would do, I was experimenting!  Anyway, that batch came out so bad that I didn’t even bake all of the dough.  I did eat the mistakes, though.  They were just blah.

Then I tried again the other day.  The first batch, I flattened them and they came out…flat and kind of dry.  So I added maple syrup to the remaining dough and just made little balls with a spoon and they came out puffy.  They were okay, but not worthy of sending to anyone.  I won’t send someone ‘okay’ cookies.  So i’ve been eating those mistakes too.  And I cannot eat anymore fucked up cookies.  All cookied out over here.  I’ll try again when Brian gets home and I can make him eat my mistakes.

And then…

I found out that Food Lion brand butterscotch chips are vegan.  Food Lion is a southern grocery store chain that, at least in this town, is gross.  I never shop there.  It’s dingy and depressing and they have nothing to offer vegans.  I really wasn’t surprised when I went and found that the bags had all expired in April.  I dug in the back and found three bags that expire on the 27th.  Lucky me.  So I got them home and set about deciding what to make.  Most people would make oatmeal scotchies but this was in the center of the cookie issue so…no.  I decided to try pudding.

I melted the chips out of habit, then I realized that since there was no chocolate involved that I probably didn’t need to do that.  I got out my cornstarch and then found out…the canister was empty.  So I had to think, did I want to go to the store and buy more, or did I have something I could substitute?  I had….en-er-g!  It has thickeners in it right?  I decided to give it a try, figuring at worst I would have butterscotch soup.

It did thicken so I thought I was okay.  I tried to eat it warm and I got a stomach ache within five minutes, so I decided to save it for later.  I tried it after it cooled off and…the egg replacer had made it grainy and inedible.  Ugh.  I might try butterscotch mousse when I feel up to stomaching sugar again.

posted: 08 October 8
under: food, pictures, veganmofo

  • Wow. I hate days like that when nothing goes right. I haven’t seen a Food Lion in years! I think all of them left from here after that huge scandal several years ago.

  • Ugh, if it makes you feel any better I’ve had a day like that too, except mine was with veggie burgers. I finally gave up and made white bean cutlets adapted from V’Con because I know at least they will work!

    I managed to make some pretty good white chocolate macadamia nut cookies once using almond meal and gluten free flour, they fluffed up allright (in a good way, they weren’t chewy though, they were soft). Good luck with the future experimentation!

  • I always giggle whenever anyone mentions Food Lion. Probably because I am a nutcase. I have to check and record their weekly specials every week at work, because they sell our competitors products. They always have the strangest food on sale. I can’t ever figure out WHO shops there.

  • Isa

    For what it’s worth, I’ve seen Amy eat Chinese food out of a dumpster before. I really wouldn’t sweat this.

  • Grrr… I hate that! Thankfully flops are not a very common occurence. I don’t even mind semi-flops, as long as it it still edible. But total flops are such a wasted of time, food, and money!

  • Omg! Food Lion butterscotch chips are vegan? SCORE! I live in SC and my Food Lion is actually brand new and really nice. It even has a whole section of “natural foods” with lots of vegan and organic products. Before this new one opened, it was a dingy store, though. I go there often. I have to check out these chips!

  • I think we all have bad days in the kitchen or we each have a recipe that gives us fits for no apparent reason.

    I give you major props for perseverance, though. I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon enough and the cookies will be tremendous!

  • i hate it when things just keep going wrong. i’d be sick of cookies by now, too!

  • Everyone has bad days in the kitchen, it just means that A GREAT DAY is ahead! 🙂

  • I feel that. God forbid mistakes in the kitchen be spread out over a few trials… it’s like all the catastrophes are saved up for that one day you really want to get something done!

  • That’s amazing I usually give up after 1 try! Although admittedly many of my disasters happen because I hate to measure. -_- On the upside your pudding at least looks delicious!

  • A-K

    That’s pretty much the story of my life in trying to come up with baked goods from scratch. But I definitely admire your determination and understand not wanting to gift “just okay” cookies. I hope things start looking up!

  • amy

    sigh…

  • Mommy

    You can freeze them and I’ll help you eat them…. I can never get enough cookies!!

  • amy

    ten bucks says i send you cookies before you send me cookies.

  • I can sympathize with the disasters. My kitchen is filled with them. However, you were a little ray of sunshine in my life when you mentioned that Food Lion has vegan butterscotch chips. I hate hate hate that store and unfortunately, it’s the only one in my town so I go there for emergencies. Actually, there is an H.G. Hill but that’s even worse than Food Lion and I refuse to step foot in there. I bought some yesterday and am going to make cookies tomorrow. I am looking forward to this like you can’t believe!

  • Couldn’t believe! Can’t? Wow, talk about bad grammer.