» We interrupt this website to get serious for a moment. Don’t Eat Off The Sidewalk!

We interrupt this website to get serious for a moment.

So i’ve been trying to figure out why I shouldn’t vote for Obama.  Luckily, I have the american people, the real salt of the earth, to tell me why.  Here’s what ive learned:

  • Obama is a terrorist.  Which really means, he’s black but we can’t say that because it’s racist, so we’ll just call him a terrorist instead of using the racial slur of choice.
  • He’s too smart.  He pronounces words correctly.  I want someone who is as stupid as I am.
    He caused the current financial crisis.
    Did I mention that he’s a terrorist?
    He wants to raise taxes!  It doesn’t matter if it’s only for rich people, it’s horrible and unamerican!  Fuck the poor, they should get off of welfare and just get jobs already.  During this economic crisis where people are being laid off.

On the flipside, i’ve been trying to find out why I should vote for Sarah Palin.  Because as a woman, the choice isn’t between Obama and McCain anymore.  No sir.  Here’s what i’ve gotten for that:

  • She’s a woman!  I’m a woman!
  • She’s middle class!  I’m middle class!  No, it doesn’t matter that we’re on opposite ends of it!
  • She says things like ‘heck’ and ‘gosh darn’, she don’t need to speak properly when she’s just talkin’ to her feller Americans!  It’s super cute.
  • The media just makes her look bad, with their asking of questions without prepping her in advance and fact checking.
  • She’s pretty.
  • She has five kids!  Wow!
  • Her son went to Iraq!  So did Joe Biden’s, but fuck him!  Her son is fighting for our right to the first amendment.  I hope we win in Iraq or our rights are going straight out the door.

Honestly, I am pretty appalled and embarassed by that video above.  I know that there’s idiots everywhere and that they do not speak for the nominees, but I don’t think I want to be in the same group that yells ‘commie fags’ and tells a guy that his friend should’ve paid double for her rape kit, when he asks the crowd what they think of Sarah Palin signing off on making rape victims in Alaska pay for their own rape kits.  You can make fun of the way she talks or how she can’t seem to answer a single question that she hasn’t prepared for, but as someone who had to go through sexual assault more than once, I cannot tell you how sick that makes me.  It’s hard enough to work up the courage to tell anyone about it, imagine having to pay for it, monetarily instead of just emotionally, spiritually and physically.

Cyndi Lauper would make a better VP.

And then she has the nerve to say that women who don’t support other women go to hell?  Don’t get me started on the ‘Real Women Hunt Moose‘ thing.  Jessica Simpson thought that kind of shit was funny too.  Also, anyone stating what ‘real’ women do, no matter who’s doing it, is offensive.  What if I said ‘real women don’t eat dead animals’?  That would offend a lot of people I know.  Or if I was a narrow minded dick, I could say that transgendered women aren’t real women because they don’t have a uterus.  Oh, but what about those women who have had to have hysterectomies?  They don’t have uteruses, are they not real women?  I know, you’re probably thinking that “real” women are born women, and if you are, kindly fuck off.  I have seen some transgendered women in my day who are more womanly than I will ever be.  I can’t even walk in heels!

But despite all of these terrible things, I could never vote for a party that is pro-war, considering the fact that my husband is the one who has to go fight in that war (and oddly, the only pro-war people I meet are the ones who will not join the military.  Go figure!)  He’s coming home soon and i’d like to keep him here, see.  Cause I love him or some junk, and we have already spent half of our marriage apart, due to deployments or training for deployments.  Occasionally people thank me for my ‘sacrifice’, I don’t want to be thanked.  I just want my husband home with me and safe.  I don’t want a guy who says he’ll keep us in Iraq for 100 years to be in charge of our fate, nor do I want his second in command to be a woman who clearly does not care about women.  Also, for someone who brings up his POW status so much, John McCain does not give a shit about veterans.  Okay, he gives a shit 20% of the time.

I will now go back to being vapid and only talking about food and nerdy stuff.

posted: 08 October 10
under: family, life, lists, veganmofo

  • GODDAMN RIGHT! *fist pump* This is the most uplifting thing I’ve read all day. I watched that youtube video (and several others like it) last night when I got home from work and wanted to cry. Thanks for telling it like it is.

  • You tell it, sister!!

  • Sharky

    Thank you, Katie. Isn’t it funny — I have met many military people lately and not a single one of them is voting for McCain. I know a few actual conservatives and they are voting for Obama too. The only people I know who are voting for McCain/Palin are a few ignorant, hateful rednecks I have the displeasure to run into in the grocery store. One of them saw my Obama button and said something to me that I cannot repeat. But it was sick.

  • Dammmnnn, well said! I want you for president!

  • Neva

    Exactly.

    I’m not sure why it’s considered more supportive of our troops to keep sending them out and keeping them deployed when the war was started under false pretenses.

    Um, on Palin, can you imagine if you went to the doctor and the doctor said “I don’t really know what’s wrong with you, or what caused it, but gosh darn it, I’m gonna fix ya!” (wink, wink). I mean, you’d get another doctor right? And as important as choosing your doctor is, don’t you think choosing the leaders of our country is important too?

    Some of the hate that’s pouring out of these Republican rallies is unbelievable too. They had a story in the paper today with people saying they’re “pissed off” that Obama is doing better in the polls. Well, hmm, I’m pissed off that they elected the worst president ever, TWICE. What right do they have to be upset at this point when we had their guy for eight years and he took budget surplusses and turned them into record deficits, and took unprecedented goodwill around the world and turned it into unprecedented badwill, and he took a unified nation that wanted a call to action for the good of all and told us to shop more and divided us with his hateful rhetoric. Big sigh. I know it isn’t all on him, but still…

  • yeah! katie for president sounds like an awesome idea. you’re one of the few people i’m around that seems to a)give a shit and b)know what the hell they’re talking about. wait, i’m not actually ‘around’ you, so to speak, but you know what i mean.

  • I think you guys were missing the point: Cyndi Lauper for president, because she is fabulous!

  • I cannot believe that misquote of Palin’s. If I was Madeline Albright, I would’ve flipped my lid. I’m so glad I already cast my vote and that it was not for McCain/Palin. Ick.

  • You guys are way more fucked then I ever imagined. Paying for your rape kits? Jesus fuck christ does she even have a brain? let alone a heart.

  • smoothie

    you are good with words, and your heart is in the right place!

  • I love when people blog about things that are different than their usual topics, especially when it is political! That video needs to be seen by all Americans so I’m glad you it included it here. Thanks.

  • Go, Katie! Great post, thanks for writing it!

  • Mo

    Woohoo! You are awesome! I love you for your opinions. 🙂 Write more posts like this. The country needs them and, if you don’t, the terrorists will win.

  • Kimberly

    Love your blog; disagree with you on this post.

    My husband also went to Iraq. Three times. He is now disabled and in a veteran’s hospital for an undetermined amount of time. I hate this war and want everyone in it to come home. I’ve never voted Republican in my life. Still not voting for Obama.

    I’m tired of hearing that you’re racist if you think Obama is shady. I’m not going to vote for someone Louis Farrakhan (and many others) calls the damn Messiah. That’s fucking terrifying to me. Or someone who had Che Guevara flags in his campaign offices. I would have thought that was cool in high school; not so much now.

    I’m just tired of the rabid hating on everyone who doesn’t think Obama is the One and Only, the Man Who Can Save Us All. I’m not buying that. I don’t think that makes me an idiot.

  • Amen. Thank you for taking the time to write this.

    Having grown up doing theater, where people lean toward the very liberal, I forget that I have friends (also from theater) who will likely vote McCain/Palin; It baffles me. I know the Democrats have a few brutally outspoken brats too, but this kind of example makes me physically ill. An entire sidewalk of “supporters,” teeming with such sick and obscene people? The prospect of Sarah Palin as second-in-command terrifies me. And this middle-class, humpty-dump, average Joe bullshit she’s been slinging? I don’t want someone who claims to be “just like me” to be president, or even vice president – I want someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing.

  • bex

    Well gee wiz golly gosh shucks Katie. I just feel like Sarah is like one of us or something.

    Hey wait, what’s with this Joe Sixpack shit? What the about the chicks? I drink beer dammit and I ain’t no dude. I demand to be called . . . no wait, I can’t do it. I don’t want her to talk about me or to me or whatever the hell she’s doing.

  • Thank you for this.

  • You’re very courageous for writing this. I’ve often wondered how the families of service folks really feel about this fucked up situation.

    I am, however, increasingly fearful of the seemingly illiterate and backwards folks that are sounding more and more threatening. It makes me not want to publicly say anything one way or another. Did you see the video from the McCain rally today? The one with the older woman telling McCain she read that Obama was an Arab? I think CNN caught it. It was truly frightening. I’m thinking I’m going to have to call all my relatives to see if they’ve got their facts straight.

  • As an American ex-pat living in Europe I am constanly obliged to try to explain that not all Americans are as ignorant, egoist or seeped in the capitalist pretense of entitlement as cultural illiterates Palin & McCain. I point them to blog entries like this to reassure them that there is a majority of Americans who are articulate (or just know how to formulate sentences using sound grammar?) sentences, can think independently, and aren’t anti-woman. Rock on.

  • Well said! Palin and McCain represent some of the worst aspects of the USA.

    As a European with many US citizens as friends, I am well aware that there are lots of good folks out there, I just hope enough of them vote for Obama.

    It isn’t all hopeless, I heard one man in the video shout that he wanted to screw Obama. Applying the most liberal interpretation of the word screw, I do believe he was suggesting that he’d like to enter into a sexual relationship with Obama, despite any differences they may have over political issues; that was kinda sweet.

    ‘Republicans against rape testing kits’ is very alarming though.

  • Alex

    I don’t like either of the candidates! McCain was strong 8 years ago and inspiring, but now has taken to pandering to whatever political breezes might propel him ahead. Presidential temperment is also a problem.
    But Obama, is not ready for the job, and it seems somewhat arrogant and misinformed for him to suggest that he had to run for pres now, because the US just couldn’t wait for him to fix it; he had to jump in , without any track record of voting, change or bipartisanship. We just have to hope that he can suddenly transform Washington and effect change. And he is very likeable; just like Jimmy Carter was very likeable; a decent, civil intelligent human, but a travesty as a President; Their foreign policy views and intentions seem quite similar. Plus Obama showed his ineptitude by failing to choose Hillary for VP. Then He’d have a woman on his ticket, and YES he’d get the benefit if he so chose to have Bill’s experience. Of course he could decide not to consider Bill’s input.
    I am still undecided, and waiting to see what happens in the next few weeks.

  • Preach on! Take these people to chu’ch! And as they said on The White Rapper Show: HALLELUJAH, HOLLA BACK!!!

    Seriously. I think I love you right now.

  • Thank you, thank you! Have you seen this? It’s also good for a giggle. http://www.cakespy.com/2008/10/cuppie-capers-pastry-politics.html

  • Kimberlee

    @ other Kimberly

    You sound like a canned response written by fox news. I know much smarter people with more worthy reasons not to vote dem this time around. How about you worry about our country’s future like this post does and no about who you would rather go to church with or share a sixpack? Not everybody thinks Obama is the messiah, on the contrary. Oh, and you sound a wee crazy.

  • amy

    it must be said: citing louis farrakhan’s remarks about obama as a reason you are not voting for him…yeah, that kind of does make you an idiot.

  • Innochka

    Ogo, I have never felt such shame… That video is from our city. This is what my husband and myself live in the middle of. Now you can understand how comments like this happen: as I was recently told… “You’re just jealous, Palin is smart, hot, patriotic…etc. In other words, everything a sour immigrant like you isn’t.”