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VeganMoFo: Hatchet

Man, i’ve never been to Mardi Gras, but these kids make it look fun!

Usually horror spoofs are so over-the-top ridiculous and rife with references to other movies (Scary Movie series, anyone?  No?  That’s what I thought.), they’re unwatchable.  Or at least not enjoyable.  Hatchet is purposely ridiculous (but not too much) and has over-the-top kill scenes, but it’s not one lame pop-culture reference after another.  It is not, however, for the squeamish.  A quote from the director: “”Ultimately, it came down to frames and a couple shots,” says Green of the re-editing. “There’s a few deaths that don’t go the distance anymore. For instance, ____ still gets the belt sander put in her face. And _____ can still get her face ripped in half, but _____ can only get hit with a hatchet a certain number of times. It was thirteen times that he got chopped before; now it’s three.”

The basic plot is that a group of friends, in New Orleans for Mardi Gras, decide to go on a haunted swamp tour. At night.  As you can guess, pretty much all of these idiots are going to die.

One thing I really appreciate as a horror fan, is that certain actors will do almost any movie for the love of the genre (it certainly isn’t for fat paychecks and awards).  Hatchet has three heavy-hitters, Robert Englund (Freddy Kruger), Tony Todd (Candyman), and Kane Hodder (Friday the 13th, the only person to play Jason more than once).  Mercedes McNab, the cheeriest vampire in the history of television (Buffy/Angel), graces us with her presence.  And by presence, I mean boobs.

If you have kittee’s first issue of Papa Tofu, she has a section of NOLA recipes for you to choose from.

Entree:  If you don’t have Papa Tofu, you can still enjoy some kittee-cuisine with these roast beef seitan po’ boys.

Side:  New Orleans style white beans, or if you see a can of Blue Runner beans around and are lazy, use those (check for veganness, i’ve had a few kinds but not all).

Dessert:  If you’re feeling ambitious, you can always make a king cake!  If not and/or you like rum, you can make bananas foster and serve it with ice cream.

posted: 11 October 7
under: veganmofo

  • http://kitteekake.blogspot.com Kittee Bee Berns

    I’ve never seen this one before, but may I make a menu suggestion? Usually on swamp tours, the alligators are fed fried chicken, so why not some Soy Curl or Seitan chicken fried steak?

    xo
    kittee

  • http://mobettavegan.blogspot.com Mo

    Okay. Dude, if we never actually meet in real life, I think I’ll die.

    This is awesome. Have you seen the sequel? It’s boring as hell!

    Also, Mercedes McNab’s boobs reference!!!

  • http://askdrlove.com/relationship-advice good advice here

    Some guys claim they like being single, and sure there’s some advantages of independence and not having to listen to anybody tell you what to do. But that only goes so far, causewhen it comes down to it, everyone wants a real relationship.