» VeganMoFo: Friday the 13th Don’t Eat Off The Sidewalk!

VeganMoFo: Friday the 13th

Yep, i’m tackling a biggun tonight!   Despite constantly being panned by the critics, Friday the 13th has spawned nine sequels, one mash-up (Freddy vs. Jason), and one boring remake that it thankfully seems they will not be adding to.

So why do they keep getting made and why do people keep paying money to see them?  Jason, of course!  His deformed face that only a mother could love, when covered by a hockey mask, is so familiar to us all.  Also even though there are some truly bad movies in the series, Friday the 13th never went the funny route.  Jason himself has remained scary, mostly because he is a big-ass dude who doesn’t talk, he just chops you in half.  Also, who doesn’t worry about being murdered in the woods by a maniac?  Unlike pod people or werewolves, that is something that could happen.  Probably not by some dude who drowned in a lake and who doesn’t seem to die, though.

Fun fact for those who don’t know:  Jason is NOT the original killer.  So if you haven’t seen the first one, you still have a chance to be surprised.  But the general theme of (almost) every movie is that teenagers get killed in the woods because they’re all drinking, drug taking fornicators.  Isn’t that always the case?  Horror movies were a way more powerful tool at keeping me a virgin than any birthing video in junior high.  If you have sex, you die.  Actually, even if you don’t you’ll still die, because Jason doesn’t stop to hand out sexuality questionnaires and cups to collect urine samples.

My personal favorites are the third one (3-D, the goofy Shelley, bikers!) and the fourth one (Corey Feldman, Crispin Glover’s unique dance style!).  Because of the fact that I actually want you to read this blog, if you would like to see a ranking of the films from best to worst that I pretty much agree with, here you go.  If not, onto the menu!

Entree:  What camping-friendly food will satisfy and is vegan?  Vegan tater pigs!  Tater pigs are hollowed out baking potatoes with a sausage in them, then they’re dressed like a normal baked potato.  I learned about these from a ppker, there is no real recipe.  I used an apple corer to hollow out two baking potatoes, scraping the insides until a Field Roast frankfurter would fit inside.  Then we wrapped them in foil and baked them for about an hour.  In the meantime, I made some bacon bits using Joni’s method, a cashew cream sauce, and steamed some broccoli.  We also threw some cheddar daiya on top.  Split them open and pile on your toppings!  These are a meal in themselves so you don’t need a side, especially if you add broccoli.

Here’s Brian’s so you can see what they look like without a mound of broccoli.

Dessert:  What kind of desert does a teenager on the (literal) run through the woods carry?  Trail mix cookies, of course!

 

 

 

 

posted: 11 October 15
under: Uncategorized, veganmofo

  • http://www.meadowmeal.com Mike Desert

    Hurray! Tater Pigs! The revolution has begun!

    Friday the 13th part V gets no props! There is a huge body count, and instead of a dead or resurrected Jason, it’s a sort of Giallo/who is the killer? The scene with the leather strap and tree is one of my favorites. So this is my order:

    I
    II
    IV
    V
    III
    VIII:Jason Takes Manhattan
    The Remake
    VII: New Blood
    Freddy Vs. Jason
    VI: Jason Lives
    Jason Goes to Hell
    Jason X

  • Alice

    The 4th one is my fave, mostly because of Crispin. And I love Corey Feldman’s latex-mask-making self. 3rd comes in a close second, which is tied with #2 (mostly because of the wheelchair scene). #5 makes me furious. I’m so upset they’re not on Netflix Instant this year!

  • Alice

    Also, I want to share this with you in case you’re not familiar. I read it religiously every Halloween season — scroll down and look on the righthand side for a streaming Halloween jukebox music funtime:

    http://x-entertainment.com/

  • http://donteatoffthesidewalk.com Katie

    Mike, how can you put Jason Goes To Hell anywhere but dead last? How?

  • http://corrinadarling.wordpress.com corrina

    your tater pigs look amazing! i just ate, but now i want to eat again. i crave tater pig.

  • http://cracktheplates.com adriennefriend

    Oh wow, your theme is so rad.

  • http://www.joannavaught.com/ joanna

    i have never eaten a tater pig in my life but now i really really want to.

  • http://mobettavegan.blogspot.com Mo

    I’m sorry. I love Jason X. Like really love that shit. It’s so bad that I love it. Space. The hologram camper bit. LOVES.

    Also, you keep making me heart you more.

  • Pingback: Vegan MoFo: Vintage 2007 MoFo Survey « pbandkelly

  • Pingback: » VeganMoFo: Secretary Don’t Eat Off The Sidewalk!

  • Mo

    I find this truly hilarious because I was thisclose to doing Jason Takes Manhattan for tomorrow.