» #LaceUp4 Don’t Eat Off The Sidewalk!

#LaceUp4

Yesterday, RAINN hosted its first virtual 5K – meaning you signed up and paid your fee online, they sent you your shirt and other materials, and then you ran/walked/biked at your leisure.  My husband runs, so I sent him the link and he immediately signed up.  I knew he would, when he was in the service they had the option to donate a part of their paycheck every month to a charity, and Brian chose RAINN.

To put it as vaguely as possible, i’ve lived through sexual assault.  It is not something I would wish on my worst enemy, it really does change who you are forever.  You can get past it, but you can’t ever get rid of it.  The word ‘triggering’ is overused and misused, but I explain it that I can be okay 99.9% of the time and a certain action or words or even a smell will send a jolt through my body.  It’s like sticking your finger in a socket and getting punched in the stomach at the same time.  And if i’m having a good day otherwise, I can deal with it.  If not, I might have a meltdown.  After one of those meltdowns, Brian told me that it made him feel helpless that he couldn’t make these feelings go away for me.  I told him all I needed from him is his support, and that’s what he did yesterday.

Part of the runner’s package was a piece of paper that you could write who you’re running for, we forgot about it until he was about to head out so we waited until he got back.  I got my camera and Brian brought out his sign and showed it to me and said, “Is this okay?”  It was like insta-tears.

 

I love this dude so much.  After the shootings last week, and the cries of “Not ALL men…”  Well, here is a man who is really not all men.  He doesn’t get defensive on behalf of his entire gender because he’s confident in the fact that he’s not a misogynistic jerk and those that are, aren’t reflecting on him.  I’ve never heard him make a rape joke and in our 14 years together, he’s never once called me a bitch or a whore or any other such word (he does tell me to fuck off sometimes, though).  He enjoys Feminist Frequency and has a Gaming’s Feminist Illuminati shirt.  None of this is to say that he’s perfect, but I think he’s pretty awesome.

posted: 14 June 1
under: family

  • FoodFeud

    This is a powerful and beautiful post. You and your husband are lucky to have each other.

  • http://veganchai.wordpress.com/ veganchai

    i love you guys.

  • Gabrielle Pope

    This is fantastic. I’m so happy he dedicated his run to you. You are both so wonderfully deserving of one another!

  • Erika

    He is a pretty awesome dude, and you are a pretty awesome lady.

  • veganinbrighton

    Fuck yeah, go Brian. Supportive awesome feminist partners are the best. I’m a sexual assault survivor too and your explanation of how ‘triggering’ some things can be and the accompanying icky feelings / meltdowns that can follow really hit home for me, it’s pretty rad that you can write so eloquently about it!

  • http://donteatoffthesidewalk.com/ sendmorecops

    Thanks Jojo!

  • http://donteatoffthesidewalk.com/ sendmorecops

    You are also awesome.

  • http://donteatoffthesidewalk.com/ sendmorecops

    Thank you!

  • http://donteatoffthesidewalk.com/ sendmorecops

    <3

  • http://donteatoffthesidewalk.com/ sendmorecops

    Thanks!