I am a big zombie movie fan, and you may or may not have noticed that I haven’t done a single zombie movie yet. That’s because at the base of the story, most zombie movies are similar enough that the menu can be the same, and most have very little else to pull menu inspiration from. So I decided to do one huge, long post about my top five favorite zombie movies and suggest some foods for each movie. I decided to skip over the Romero films because they are the most popular and therefore the most likely that you’ve seen.

Overall, good foods for zombie movies are chili made with pantry staples (or any other simple bean dish), energy bars, and if you can get your hands on some vegan jello, this brain mold will make the perfect dessert.

Return of the Living Dead

This is my all-time, hands down, favorite zombie movie. It falls on the campy side of horror, features some awesome stereotypical 80’s punks, some hilarious dialogue (probably not all on purpose), and features scream queen Linnea Quigley dancing naked in a graveyard, save some thigh-highs and a latex prosthetic to give her a Barbie crotch (thanks, censors). It also has a kick-ass soundtrack, which I own on cd, and is another example of awesome 80′s movie posters (see above).

Fun fact: this movie is an alternate split-off from Night of the Living Dead. John Russo, who co-wrote Night of the Living Dead with George Romero, retained the rights to make any movie with the phrase ‘Living Dead’ in it. The premise is that the events of Night of the Living Dead are real, and the government packed up some of the zombies into oil drums (?), and one of the zombies gets released, and mayhem ensues. On thing that sets this film apart from most zombie movies is that you cannot kill the zombies with a shot to the head, they talk, and even lure victims to them.

The first sequel is pretty much just as good, with completely different characters, but once again it’s a zombie in an oil drum that causes the outbreak. Two actors from the first movie who became zombies return, and basically meet the same fate (and they joke about how they feel like this has all happened before). The next sequel has a different vibe, and is not as good. Then, unfortunately, years later some idiot decided to revive the franchise to cash in on the zombie revivial. All i’m gonna say is, one of the new sequels is called Rave to the Grave.

Meal ideas: Ginger punks! Even though the recipe posted isn’t for the punks, you can make royal icing and dye it and punk those cookies up yourself. Another idea is this vegan dirt cake that is set up to look like a graveyard.

Chopper Chicks In Zombietown

This is another favorite campy movie, but much more low-budget and distributed by the people who brought you classics like The Toxic Avenger, so it’s much more overlooked than RotLD. The name probably doesn’t help….anyway, it’s about a gang of biker chicks who roll into the saddest town ever, where there’s a funeral every week. It turns out that the funeral home director (who is also in Return of the Living Dead) is killing people, so he can steal their corpses, put a battery in their brain, and put them to work in his mine that is full of poisonous gas. Naturally, they get out and the biker gang gets involved, even though the townspeople are dicks to them. You are probably expecting tits in this movie, but there aren’t! All of the slutting around is very PG.

To me, the best part about this movie is the zombie lurching score. The music that plays whenever the zombies are shown shambling about is hilarious, and the far best out of any zombie movie i’ve ever seen. Second best of all, this movie co-stars Billy Bob Thorton. Also, original MTV VJ Martha Quinn and Lewis Arquette (father of all of those famous actors) have small roles.

Meal ideas: Since there is a sexy montage of the biker gang getting laid in the movie, how about some sexy chocolate cake?

Planet Terror

Although the creatures in Planet Terror aren’t ever called zombies, they are zombie-like enough for my purposes. Planet Terror is one of those movies where you just grip the arm of your chair the whole time, tense from the non-stop awesomeness. Since this is a recent and fairly popular movie I don’t think I need to say a lot about it, but it’s very actiony, star-packed, and you get to watch Fergie die. What more could you possibly want? A deputy played by Tom Savini? Okay, you can have that too!

Meal ideas: For Rose McGowan’s character, She’s My Cherry Pie.

Shaun of the Dead

The first time I watched Shaun of the Dead, I knew nothing about it. I didn’t know everyone else was crazy about it, I didn’t know that it was a British comedy (the tagline is ‘a romantic comedy with zombies’), so I wasn’t even excited to watch it, it was just something to put on. So I was really happy and surprised to realize that it was funny and awesome. Shaun is a lovable loser who is totally oblivious to the zombie outbreak until it is literally in his face, then he decides it’s a good time to be a take-charge kind of guy and save everyone he knows. Obviously that doesn’t work out entirely, but this is a (b)romantic comedy, so you can guess how it ends.

Menu ideas: Because this is a British film, you can eat British foods like bangers and mash and sticky toffee pudding.

Dead Alive

Long before Peter Jackson made movies about hobbits, he made a zombie movie in his home country of New Zealand. It is low budget, it is gross, it gets increasingly weird, and for whatever reason it all works. A young lad named Lionel lives with his overbearing mother, who gets bit by an infected monkey-thing at the zoo and she slowly turns into a zombie and starts killing other people. Lionel decides to deal with this by hiding the zombies in his basement. These zombies are weird, two of them even get biblical and make a freaky zombie baby. One of the best parts of this movie is the random quote, “I kick ass for the lord!” Oh, and the lawnmower scene.

Meal ideas: Anything from the recipe page of this Vegan Society in New Zealand!

We’re going indie horror today! May is kind of a modern take on Carrie (ironically, the main character is played by the same woman who played Carrie in the tv movie remake). It is about a lonely, weird woman who had a rough childhood because of her lazy eye, which she finally gets corrected. When she meets people she does whatever they do to please them, and like most delicate souls, she gets crushed repeatedly. And then she snaps. Oh, and her best friend is a doll.

The “horror” part is absent until towards the end, there is a lot of build-up to the bloody rampage that ensues at the end. Unlike a lot of horror movies, May actually has a decent cast, good writing, and all that jazz. It is, dare I say it, a good film! Everyone should watch it, even if you are not the horror movie type.

Starring Angela Bettis (Girl Interrupted, Carrie remake, Dexter), Jeremy Sisto (Suburgatory, Law & Order, Clueless) and Anna Faris (House Bunny, all of those Scary Movies).

Entree: One of the things that May does to impress Jeremy Sisto is to take up smoking, so how about some smoky tempeh bacon (scroll down)? Make a double batch because like cigarettes, tempeh bacon is highly addictive.
Side: While thinking up menu ideas, I thought of this ‘I Do Win Friends With Salad‘ shirt, obviously there are a million salads to win friends with, Susan and Isa both have many delicious recipes that would complement the tempeh bacon.
Dessert: You know the real way to make friends is to share food, and I was happy to find a vegan recipe for Amish friendship bread! P.S. Before anyone gets testy about the mention of using eggs OR egg replacer at the bottom, that is part of the instructions you would pass onto your friends, who may or may not be vegan, to finish the bread as they please.

In space, no one can eat ice cream*.

So at some point in my young life, after I was traumatized against clowns by Poltergeist, I watched Killer Klowns and it scared the pants off of me. When it came out on dvd, I scooped it up and made Brian watch it. Before we started it I was like, “This movie is really scary, just to warn you!” I think it only took about five minutes of viewing before we both realized that I was wrong, and I was horribly, horribly embarrassed. This movie is about as scary as the monkey neck pillow I sleep with!

Aliens who just so happen to look like clowns, land on earth in a spaceship that just so happens to look like a circus tent. Why are they here? To round us up, encase us in cotton candy, and eat us! Of course, people are killed in comical fashions, like with shadow puppets and cotton candy ray guns. Stop judging me, I was like, nine when I watched this! Of course, no one in the town is afraid of a bunch of goofy looking clowns, so they’re not scared and basically just stand there and get slaughtered. Only a couple of teenagers are wise to what’s going on, and it’s up to them to save the day.

Believe it or not, this movie is actually pretty highly rated on IMDB/Rotten Tomatoes, for a horror movie. It’s definitely not scary, but it’s entertaining and not even close to the worst movie i’ve posted.

I’m going to break from my usual meal format because, this is a movie about clowns (and I can only post hot dog recipes so many times)! What do people eat at the circus? Besides sadness and cruelty, I mean. So I collected some recipes of various treats for you to enjoy, besides the obvious answer of: popcorn. Lots and lots of popcorn.

Soft Pumpkin Pretzels
Pizza!
Nachos with your favorite queso sauce, or this seven layer dip
Peanut Butter Caramel Apples
If you’re feeling really adventurous, or have some enemies you want to encase and then suck dry, you can make your own cotton candy.

*this is the tagline for the movie, i’m not that clever.