Last summer, my husband had a great internship that ended with a full-time job offer when he graduates, which he will this spring. If you don’t know, Brian got out of the army three years ago and has been going to school on the GI Bill since then. It’s been three years of limbo and waiting, and that’s finally about to end. We’re not moving out-of-state or to a bigger city (it’s actually smaller than where we live now), but a well-paying, steady job is more important than moving to a place that’s more vegan-friendly. I plan on focusing on the positives of small town living, like having room for a decent garden and trying to make more of my own foods like jam and shit. Our new house has a large pantry basement so I can finally live out my dreams of becoming a vegan extreeeeeeeeeeeme couponer!

Like the title implies, I am surrounded by half-packed boxes. But this is more about subscription boxes, which are all the rage right now, and me procrastinating. Since i’m moving to a smaller town, AND I really like getting mail, I decided to try out a few. I really wanted to find an all-vegan beauty box, but that hasn’t happened yet, but here’s what i’ve tried so far (apologies for the lack of pictures):

Conscious Box: Let’s get the big diss out of the way first. Conscious Box is not an all-vegan service and they’ve made it clear that they don’t really care much about their vegan customers. I ordered the box that was put together by The Vegan Zombie, and it came with a brand of eyeliner I wasn’t familiar with, so I checked the ingredients and it had beeswax (The Vegan Zombie did not actually pick that product out so it’s not their fault at all). When I mentioned it and asked them to announce it so other people could be aware, they didn’t. I canceled my box, but next month they had a lotion that also had beeswax in it, and when someone complained they replied on facebook that it was from ‘magic bees’ and therefore vegan (and then someone smarter than them removed the comment). They also did not feel the need to let their customers know about this mix-up. That same month, a lot of people got their standard box instead of the vegan one.

I know some people don’t have a problem with bee products, but I do and most people I know do, so I don’t trust Conscious Box. I also think their customer service is shit, and that’s the bottom line for two big thumbs down. It’s okay for companies to make mistakes, it’s how they handle their mistakes that make me decide if I want to continue buying from them or not.

Healthy Surprise: I actually got this for my father-in-law as a Christmas present, because I knew it’d be right up his alley (and that he’d share it with me). If you like to try new snacks all the time and don’t have any interest in household or beauty products, this one is for you! Healthy Surprise is always vegan (no honey here!), gluten-free, soy-free, and corn-free. There are sometimes nuts and grains, and there is always something chocolate, apple chips, and either a kale snack or a seaweed snack. We don’t like every single thing we get, but that’s the beauty of a snack box: you only get one so if you don’t like it, no big. Please note the Healthy part of the name, there aren’t any Tings or Go Max Go bars in here, but they are still snack foods. The price seems kind of high, but as long as you don’t get the smallest box you get free shipping, and these are full-sized products that aren’t cheap.

Vegan Cuts: Some people were disappointed in the Vegan Cuts box when it first came out, so I held off getting one. But after a few boxes, they said they were going to make it better and put more things in it, and at $20 shipped I couldn’t really argue against one box.  Vegan Cuts boxes aren’t all full-sized products, which is fine with me because if I really like something, i’m going to order the full-sized version anyway, and i’d rather get to sample 10 items than get 5 full-sized products.  I actually have pictures of these from instagram:

So far, i’m pretty pleased.  The only thing that i’ve either not totally loved (Eli’s Earth bar, zomg) or at least liked was that Barre…bar.  No one is going to make me like spirulina, sorry!  If you live in a big city you probably won’t find the Vegan Cuts box super exciting.  But if you’re like me and you’re always jealous of your internet buddies who get to try all of the new vegan products right away or live within an hour of a Whole Foods, I think the Vegan Cuts box is a good choice.  It’s a little bit smaller than the smallest Healthy Surprise box, but they’ll send you junk food and it seems like one or two non-food products to try.  It’s also very affordable.

Final thoughts:  I can’t recommend Conscious Box to anyone, but if you don’t care about beeswax, a lot of people seem to like it.  Healthy Surprise is fun, but I wouldn’t get it if I wasn’t splitting it with someone, they repeat a lot of items which is good or bad depending on how much you like kale and apple chips.  So far Vegan Cuts is my favorite, but i’d still like to find a beauty themed one, since vegan/organic beauty products can be expensive and it sucks to commit to a $30 bottle of moisturizer only to find out you hate the smell or it breaks you out.

(All boxes were paid for by me, no freebies here.)

Now as i’ve stately previously, I don’t cook from recipes a lot. I just love cookbooks and like to read them. My comments are almost solely related to the design, the interesting-ness of the recipes (like I don’t care about you trying to reinvent the basic tofu scramble), the pictures, etc. That is why I rarely write amazon reviews and just blog my thoughts instead. Onward, in order of how they’re stacked next to me:

Great Gluten-Free Vegan Eats, Allyson Kramer: This is at the top because I just got this book in the mail yesterday. I’m not gluten-free and since it’s not necessary for me or anyone I cook for, i’m pretty terrified of gluten-free baking. But I got this book because I know kittee is nuts about it, and I can see why. This book has a great design, a picture for every recipe, and these aren’t just ‘oh this happens to be gluten-free pretty much already so i’ll stick it in here’. Allyson includes a recipe for gluten-free homemade pasta that you can use to make things like Walnut Ravioli with Vodka Sauce. Fancy! There are baked goods that do have a long list of ingredients, but there are plenty of simple and short recipes that still are interesting (Cinnamon Roasted Cauliflower, whaaaaaaat). I’m probably going to get this book for my sister-in-law, she’s been eating a lot of vegan meals lately and her BFF is gluten-free so I think the two of them would get a lot of use out of this.

Vegan Food Gifts, Joni Marie Newman: Joni sent this book to me as a gift during VeganMoFo, and since I haven’t made my vegan food gifts for the holidays yet I haven’t used it enough to give a proper review, but I will still talk it up like a mug. First off, you can tell that so much work and love was put into this book. There’s a crafty section for making your own treat packaging and loaf pans, ready-made gifts (like cookies and sweet breads), mixes for people to make soup, brownies, etc. with, themed gift baskets, a whole section on canning with step-by-step photos, and homemade fancy booze gifts. Damn, girl. If that weren’t enough, Celine Steen took all of the photos and Kurt Halsey did the illustrations for the book and the gift tag templates in it (omg fangirl squee [fun fact, Kurt Halsey kind of made me vegan]!!!!!!!!!!!). Brian and I used the TVP Pepperoni from the pizza gift basket, which is an excellent quick pizza topping, and i’ve made the Pumpkin Bread with white chocolate chips several times (I even made it into a bundt cake for one of our Thanksgiving desserts). So even if you aren’t making gifts, you can take a lot of the recipes and make them for your dinner that night or snacks. I love making food for holiday gifts but I often have trouble thinking of things outside of chocolate something-something, so this book is definitely a very valuable addition to my collection.

Artisan Vegan Cheese, Miyoko Schinner: I said I wasn’t going to buy this book because I really don’t have the set-up to ferment things right now, and it seems like if you’re going to buy a book about making fancy vegan cheeses, you should probably use it. Although i’ve heard the recipes can be difficult to work with, Miyoko herself posts a lot in the book thread on the ppk, helping people figure out any issues they have, so I know she’s really dedicated to these recipes and she wants them to work for people. I think this book is a game changer, especially for people who live in smaller towns and don’t have regular access to vegan cheeses, and certainly don’t have access to fancy fermented cheeses like Dr. Cow. Book Publishing Company books don’t generally have my favorite layouts, but there are some pictures in the book and the pictures are very nice and make me want to make and eat all of the cheeses.

Vegan A La Mode, Hannah Kaminsky: Yes, even as my toes are cold, I still want to talk about an ice cream book. Honestly, I don’t think Hannah is capable of making a bad book because she is a creative person and she takes amazing photos. This book isn’t just your basic chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and then some variations. There are recipes like Sweet Corn Ice Cream, Red Hot Ice Cream, and a Purple Cow Ice Cream that is only three ingredients. ALSO HOMEMADE MAGIC SHELL RECIPES. Some require a little more work, some contain pre-packaged vegan ingredients, most do not. Although there have been other vegan ice cream books, I feel that like the above book, if you’re a small town vegan and you want to make your eating life more interesting and delicious, investing in an ice cream maker and this book is a big step in the right direction.

Let Them Eat Vegan, Dreena Burton: I’ve said more than once that I want Dreena to be my vegan mom, and I think she is really good at making healthy recipes and using kind-of-hippie ingredients in a way that doesn’t seem boring or gross. There are a lot of alternative sweeteners, grains, and flours here but Dreena isn’t one of those people who completely shuns fat, salt, soy, or gluten. But she also seems to try and please as many people as possible and if something can be made soy or gluten free, she does it. There’s a very large selection of cookies, pies, cakes, and ice creams and overall it’s a very well-rounded book. When I bought this I said I was interested in seeing how Dreena’s recipe style had adapted to the many advances in vegan cooking that had been made since her last book, and I think she’s kept up pretty well.

Vegan Eats World, Terry Hope Romero: Strap on your big person panties, ladies and gents, because this is a serious book. I got it and as I flipped through it, I felt a little intimidated. This isn’t a watered down, americanized version of international recipes. This is serious business, and if you’re one of those people who thinks that no one should ever write a recipe with more than ten ingredients and everything should be available at the corner store in a tiny town in the midwest, go home. I don’t mean that as a diss to the book, quite the opposite. These recipes are genuine and Terry isn’t willing to sacrifice flavor just to make recipes reach the lowest common denominator. That’s not to say that every recipe requires a trip to the international market to get fancy spices and weird produce. There are recipe icons for shorter recipes, recipes for a novice, and cheaper recipes, so if i’ve scared your pants off, rest assured that there is something in here for every budget, schedule, skill level, and…access-to-ingredientness. Includes many gorgeous photos.

Barefoot and in the Kitchen, Ashley Rowe: Do you miss zines? Do you not need fancy pictures and complicated recipes? Do you like super-cute drawings? I have all of the Barefoot zines and enjoyed them immensely, and to be honest I do miss the more carefree writing style that comes with zines. This compilation book is full of Ashley’s illustrations and humor.

>Vegan Sandwiches Save the Day, Celine Steen and Tamasin Noyes: I already word vomited my tiny heart out about this book, but to sum up: vegan + sandwiches = awesome!

Wild About Greens, Nava Atlas: As someone who doesn’t really like leafy greens that aren’t spinach because they taste bitter to me, any book that is dedicated entirely to greens piques my interest! Since I see a lot of people say that they don’t know how to incorporate kale into their diet in interesting ways, i’d say a lot of people would benefit from this book. The photos by Susan Voisin are too few, but the vintage style greens prints make for a nice visual throughout the book. I also like that the book doesn’t have any plain lettuces in it because, really, we all know how to work iceberg lettuce into our diet: go out for a meal at a chain restaurant with your omnivore family, heyooooooooooooooo!

And with that tacky joke, I will end this list. I hope everyone has had or will have a happy holiday season, and if you are a scrooge I hope everyone leaves you the hell alone. Happy Festivus!

A few people have said I should keep doing dinner and a movie menus all year long, and while I do want to keep doing this as my MoFo theme for as long as feasible (until i’m so desperate i’m doing Dinner and a National Geographic Documentary), I had a few that I made stuff for so I absolutely want to squeeze those out. And I might throw up a menu on occasion, but for now: I am so sick of watching movies, dudes. I had to re-watch a lot of the movies I posted to get proper menu inspiration, and on top of my regular tv, I just. I kind of want to go outside? Maybe get away from the glowing box? ANYWAY, onto my last post for MoFo this year.

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He hates these trees! Stay away from the trees!

I was lucky enough to catch Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter at our local drive-in this summer. When you live in the Land of Lincoln, you get kind of numb to all of the Lincoln stuff. I drive past Lincoln’s home all the time, i’ve rubbed the nose of the lucky bust at Oak Ridge plenty. So not only did I find this movie fun because of the action and normal, non-sparkly vampires, but because it renewed my interest in Abraham Lincoln and the time he spent here. I found out that his human cohorts in the movie are all real people, although their roles in his life are slightly tweaked to better fit the movie. Learin’!

The movie doesn’t try to alter the course of history, it simply interjects the idea that from early adulthood all the way up to his death, President Lincoln was also a vampire hunter. It all starts when he seeks revenge on the man who poisoned his mother (in actuality, Nancy Lincoln died from milk sickness, go vegan!) and discovers that he isn’t so easy to kill. And he has fangs and is really strong and whoa boy is he kind of a snarky dick about it. But luckily, Abe meets a guy who wants to train him. Yet you never see this dude kill vampires himself…curious. Anyway, all through moving to Springfield, meeting Mary Todd, and getting into politics, Abe is killin’ vampires left and right. There is killing, war, hijinks, fights on burning trains, and as we all know, eventually Mr. Lincoln is going to take a trip to the theater.

This movie was filmed in 3D, which I don’t like because when you’re at the drive-in you’re like, “God damn, these angles are annoying.” But there is lots of crazy good action and stunts, I half expected Milla Jovovich to pop out at the plantation and start shooting some bitches in the head. You wouldn’t think that Abraham Lincoln and the words ‘thrill ride’ go together, but they do! If you like action flicks but hate the dumbed down dialog, you will like this movie. It has received mixed reviews, but pfffft on what anyone but me thinks.

This is an indie flick so there aren’t any huge stars, but a few very familiar faces: Anthony Mackie (2Pac in Notorious, The Hurt Locker), Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Deathproof, Scott Pilgrim), Jimmi Simpson (Always Sunny, Breakout Kings), Marton Csokas (LotR trilogy), and some guy named Alan Tudyk who likes to play with dinosaur figures and talk like a pirate.

If you are going to watch one of the few movies that will ever feature Springfield, you have to eat our one local delicacy: The Horseshoe. I’ve posted about it before, but earlier this year the Illinois Times posted an article about the history of the horseshoe, how it’s changed over the years (now made mostly with gross frozen fries), and the original cheese sauce recipe. I tucked that away in my brain because if you look at the recipe (way down at the bottom), it’s so easy to veganize. So easy that i’m not going to pretend I ‘made’ the recipe by swapping, so here are some step-by-steps:

1. Acquire or make a loaf of white bread, bake if needed. Slice into toastable thickness. Hide the bread from the cat.
2. Slice some potatoes (also if you are doing veggies, those too), dice them, whatever shape you want, if you’re doing wedges I suggest baking over cooking in a pan. I sliced them into rounds that were thick enough so they wouldn’t come out like chips, just crispy on the outside and warm and soft on the inside. I also fried them in a cast iron pan.
3. While the potatoes are cooking, follow the recipe for the original cheese sauce with vegan subs (we used oil, almond milk, PBR, and a wedge of Daiya cheddar). You’ll spend a few minutes just poking the potatoes and stirring the sauce and singing to the dogs.
4. Now is the time to do your ‘meat’. It can be various veggies, a portobello cap, whatever fake meat or soy thing you desire. We used Upton’s seitan because they are Chicago-based (and it’s delicious), so I just waited for my potatoes to be done, moved them to a paper towel, drained the oil, and cooked the Upton’s in the cast iron.
5. Toast your bread.
6. Assemble! Lay 1-2 pieces of bread (ours was pretty small so we did two) down, pile with potatoes and your meaty stand-in, drown in cheesy cheese sauce. Dig in and remember to name your food baby after me.

Obviously this is not a healthy recipe. Lots of places do offer vegetable horseshoes (and you’ll notice that the one pictured in the article is vegetarian), so it’s possible to do it up right and get some veggies in, but you can’t make a fat-free horseshoe. To even try would be depressing. I’m just adding this as a disclaimer. And yes, it is RICH. The portion size of a modern horseshoe is so insane, way bigger than what Brian and I made, and I couldn’t finish mine. Also as a disclaimer, the cheese sauce does not look pretty as it cools down and congeals, so either eat it all ASAP or be prepared to hide your leftovers from the sight of anyone who will go, “EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU EATING GROSS VEGAN”.

Dessert: If you have the room, you probably don’t have the desire to make anything fancy. Lucky for you, Mr. Lincoln wasn’t big on food and preferred simple desserts, like a plate of fruit and nuts. So microwave ‘baked’ apples sound pretty perfect for our Abe dessert.