» VeganMoFo: I’m doing it wrong. Don’t Eat Off The Sidewalk!

VeganMoFo: I’m doing it wrong.

I really hate it when something I try to make goes ker-flop.  I especially hate the fact that it always seems to happen to sweet things.  Like for example:  I have been promising Amy a carepackage for over a month.  She told me that she was having trouble with wheat so I decided to make her wheat-free cookies.  I got a bunch of almond flour at Krogers for half off (they put things on sale when they’re about to hit their ‘sell by’ date), so I went with spelt and almond.  The first time, they came out okay.  I even took the results to a friend to try and he said that he thought they were really good.  They did need a little more flour though, because they were really thin and didn’t get crispy so when you picked one up, it bent in half.

Since then i’ve tried twice more.  I tried beating the sugar and the oil together.  Don’t ask me what I thought that would do, I was experimenting!  Anyway, that batch came out so bad that I didn’t even bake all of the dough.  I did eat the mistakes, though.  They were just blah.

Then I tried again the other day.  The first batch, I flattened them and they came out…flat and kind of dry.  So I added maple syrup to the remaining dough and just made little balls with a spoon and they came out puffy.  They were okay, but not worthy of sending to anyone.  I won’t send someone ‘okay’ cookies.  So i’ve been eating those mistakes too.  And I cannot eat anymore fucked up cookies.  All cookied out over here.  I’ll try again when Brian gets home and I can make him eat my mistakes.

And then…

I found out that Food Lion brand butterscotch chips are vegan.  Food Lion is a southern grocery store chain that, at least in this town, is gross.  I never shop there.  It’s dingy and depressing and they have nothing to offer vegans.  I really wasn’t surprised when I went and found that the bags had all expired in April.  I dug in the back and found three bags that expire on the 27th.  Lucky me.  So I got them home and set about deciding what to make.  Most people would make oatmeal scotchies but this was in the center of the cookie issue so…no.  I decided to try pudding.

I melted the chips out of habit, then I realized that since there was no chocolate involved that I probably didn’t need to do that.  I got out my cornstarch and then found out…the canister was empty.  So I had to think, did I want to go to the store and buy more, or did I have something I could substitute?  I had….en-er-g!  It has thickeners in it right?  I decided to give it a try, figuring at worst I would have butterscotch soup.

It did thicken so I thought I was okay.  I tried to eat it warm and I got a stomach ache within five minutes, so I decided to save it for later.  I tried it after it cooled off and…the egg replacer had made it grainy and inedible.  Ugh.  I might try butterscotch mousse when I feel up to stomaching sugar again.

posted: 08 October 8
under: food, pictures, veganmofo

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