Grandma’s Boy falls into the category of ‘movies I thought sounded incredibly stupid until I watched them’. Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle also falls in that category. A stoner comedy about a video game nerd who lives with his grandma? Produced by Adam Sandler? Appparently I wasn’t the only one who felt this way, since this movie barely made its budget back but then made over 30 million in dvd sales. DVD SALES DO NOT LIE, PEOPLE.

My husband says that Grandma’s Boy has no real point until the last fifteen minutes, and I think that’s accurate: Alex is a a guy floating through life, being an accountant-turned-video-game-tester who likes to smoke pot. And then his roommate gets them evicted, and after accidentally trying to give his friends mom a pearl necklace, he’s forced to move in with his grandma and her two roommates. Potheads + wacky old ladies = hijinks abound! At the same time, a lovely young woman shows up at the video game company where Alex works to help get the current game back on schedule, attracting the attention of the creepy Neo-wannabe game creator.

There are some purposely extreme stereotypes in here: the wacky drug dealer is REALLY wacky and all of his pot has ridiculous names, the virgin who lives with his parents has a CAR BED, and the uber nerd with no social skills is…really, really, nerdy and sometimes talks like a robot.

If you’re still like, “Hmmm, no, i’m not sure I want to watch this.” I present to you, Linda Cardellini doing ‘Push It’. Any serious actor who tries to lick their own boob for the sake of comedy deserves all of the awards.

Featuring a few people who you may sort of recognize from small roles in Adam Sandler films: Jonathan Loughran, Peter Dante, and Allen Covert; plus a few cameos/small parts by comedians David Spade, Kevin Nealon, Rob Schneider, and Nick Swardson. Also starring Linda Cardellini (Freaks and Geeks, ER), Joel David Moore (Bones, Avatar), Shirley Jones (The Partridge Family), Shirley Knight (The Dutchman, As Good As It Gets), Doris Roberts (Everybody Loves Raymond, Remington Steele), and Jonah Hill (Superbad, 21 Jump Street).

Onto the menu! Your first option is to get stoned and raid your grandma’s fridge. Don’t burn your hands when you take everything out of the oven. Or, you can make some snacks:

Salt and Pepper tofu (lost Veganomicon recipe), if you eat it while trying to lick your boob, please send me the video.
Hemp seeds are expensive, so instead of some pricey hippie joke, try this Dill WEED sandwich from, of course, The Vegan Stoner.
I couldn’t find a sprouted enchilada recipe, but of course, there are tofu cakes. Shots of wheat grass, if you want to be sober AND vomit, are optional.
Ice cream sandwiches, hold the lettuce.

Serve everything with a big mug of tea, that you did NOT find in the room where your pothead grandson is staying.

Who is the most awesome tv/movie family of all time? If you think it’s The Brady Bunch, please go have sexual relations with yourself. If you said The Munsters, okay, but they aren’t as popular as The Addams. Did you know that The Addams Family started as a comic strip, and none of them even had names until the tv show? For a brief history of all things Addams, go here.

While I think the first movie is awesome, I think the sequel is even better so let’s jump to that! In the second movie, Morticia and Gomez welcome a new baby, Pubert. How those two don’t have 18 kids and counting i’ll never know, because one of the running themes of the tv show and the movie is that they’re constantly making bedroom eyes at each other. So they hire a nanny, who (spoiler alert) is evil, and convinces the parents to ship Wednesday and Pugsley off to summer camp, which is the BEST part of the movie. They could scrap everything else and turn it into a short called ‘Wednesday and Pugsley Go To Camp Chippewa” and that would be just fine. Then some other stuff happens and what it boils down to is that this family loves each other a lot and it’s very heartwarming and blah di dah.

This is a ‘who isn’t in this movie’, so i’ll just point out a few: Mercedes McNab (Hatchet, Buffy/Angel) is the annoying blonde girl at camp, David Krumholtz (Numb3rs, Harold and Kumar, Serenity) plays the nerdy love interest of Wednesday, and John Franklin (Issac from Children of the Corn) plays Cousin Itt. And of course, Peter MacNicol (Ally McBeal, Numb3rs, 24, Ghostbusters II) and Christine Baranski (The Good Wife, Mama Mia, Sheldon’s mom on Big Bang Theory) are amazing as the directors of Camp Chippewa.

For the menu, I went with black and white foods, with a spicy kick to represent the burning passion between Morticia and Gomez. If you want you can just drink lemonade and make vegan girl scout cookies, there is a recipe for Thin Mints in The Vegan Cookie Connoisseur and a recipe for Samoas in Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar.

Entree: Black and White Bean Burgers with Spicy Mango Salsa
Side: Yuca Fries (omg how cute is that blog?!)
Dessert: Black and White Cookies

Yep, i’m tackling a biggun tonight!   Despite constantly being panned by the critics, Friday the 13th has spawned nine sequels, one mash-up (Freddy vs. Jason), and one boring remake that it thankfully seems they will not be adding to.

So why do they keep getting made and why do people keep paying money to see them?  Jason, of course!  His deformed face that only a mother could love, when covered by a hockey mask, is so familiar to us all.  Also even though there are some truly bad movies in the series, Friday the 13th never went the funny route.  Jason himself has remained scary, mostly because he is a big-ass dude who doesn’t talk, he just chops you in half.  Also, who doesn’t worry about being murdered in the woods by a maniac?  Unlike pod people or werewolves, that is something that could happen.  Probably not by some dude who drowned in a lake and who doesn’t seem to die, though.

Fun fact for those who don’t know:  Jason is NOT the original killer.  So if you haven’t seen the first one, you still have a chance to be surprised.  But the general theme of (almost) every movie is that teenagers get killed in the woods because they’re all drinking, drug taking fornicators.  Isn’t that always the case?  Horror movies were a way more powerful tool at keeping me a virgin than any birthing video in junior high.  If you have sex, you die.  Actually, even if you don’t you’ll still die, because Jason doesn’t stop to hand out sexuality questionnaires and cups to collect urine samples.

My personal favorites are the third one (3-D, the goofy Shelley, bikers!) and the fourth one (Corey Feldman, Crispin Glover’s unique dance style!).  Because of the fact that I actually want you to read this blog, if you would like to see a ranking of the films from best to worst that I pretty much agree with, here you go.  If not, onto the menu!

Entree:  What camping-friendly food will satisfy and vegan?  Vegan tater pigs!  Tater pigs are hollowed out baking potatoes with a sausage in them, then they’re dressed like a normal baked potato.  I learned about these from a ppker, there is no real recipe.  I used an apple corer to hollow out two baking potatoes, scraping the insides until a Field Roast frankfurter would fit inside.  Then we wrapped them in foil and baked them for about an hour.  In the meantime, I made some bacon bits using Joni’s method, a cashew cream sauce, and steamed some broccoli.  We also threw some cheddar daiya on top.  Split them open and pile on your toppings!  These are a meal in themselves so you don’t need a side, especially if you add broccoli.

Here’s Brian’s so you can see what they look like without a mound of broccoli.

Dessert:  What kind of desert does a teenager on the (literal) run through the woods carry?  Trail mix cookies, of course!